People who don’t have kids like to talk about how children are a god’s blessing, how cool it is to have a baby, and how adorable the infants are. But only a parent knows the hard work hidden behind all the cuteness. And becoming parents for the first time in most cases is very stressful – you don’t have experience and constantly doubt your decisions, it seems that you’re not good enough or not trying hard enough, and so on. To help you cope with the stress, here are the 5 most common causes of anxiety for new parents and tips on how to overcome this stress.
1. Sleep deprivation
Infants are fed every 2 hours, whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding with formula. So, sleeping for longer than 2 hours is a luxury for new parents and thus, you get sleep deprivation hard and fast. Especially if your baby is hyperactive or has any stomach issues – even if he/she is fed, bathed, and hugged, they continue crying all the time. All this causes an extreme level of stress and sometimes even makes you regret having a baby (only for a little while, though).
What can you do to solve this problem?
First of all, ask for help. You can invite your mother or mother-in-law, sister, aunt, or very close friend to stay for a few days or hire a nanny. It’s ok to let other people help, you don’t have to cope alone with everything. Babies that are formula-fed can be nursed and cared for by someone you trust for a few hours, while you get some sleep. A happy and well-rested parent is much more watchful and loving. Also, it’s ideal when both a father and a mother are able to have maternity leave.
2. Baby’s stomach issues
A lot of infants have at least some stomach issues, like gasses, acid reflux, constipation, allergic reactions, etc. It’s normal for the little tummy to be a bit whimmy because your baby gets used to digesting milk, formula, and then solid foods. It takes time for all the processes to stabilize. So, be ready for your infant to cry, whimmy, and refuse to eat.
But how can you help your baby feel better?
If your baby shows any signs of stomach problems, consult with a pediatrician. Some issues can be easily fixed. Mothers who breastfeed might be advised to change their diet. And with formula-fed infants, it’s even easier – a doctor or nutrition specialist might recommend you to switch to another brand of first milk or to a special formula. There are dozens of specialized baby formulas created for infants with health issues. In particular, you can look through different options of special formulas in organic baby formula shop – Oranic’s Best.
3. Not having time for yourself
No matter how much you love your baby, you need a little break now and then. Just some time for yourself – to read a book or watch a movie, to get a new haircut or manicure, to meet a friend or relative, and talk without constantly taking care of an infant. Your baby depends on you fully and demands all your time. It can be very stressful, especially after several months of baby care.
What’s the solution?
Partners should always think about one another and help each other. If one parent continues working, while the other one looks after a baby, it would be “fair” to give the latter a couple of hours of off-baby time. That’s totally fine for a new mother to want to look and feel good, so she needs time for a manicure, massage, pilates, or even a cocktail with her best friend. People say that being a parent is a job without days off, but you can have an hour off.
4. No parent is perfect
New parents typically try their best to be the perfect parent and stress over their mistakes or fails badly. You might think, my friend’s baby already turns from its tummy to the back, and mine doesn’t, maybe I don’t exercise with him/her enough, maybe I’m a bad parent?!
Here’s a piece of advice for you
Forget about becoming the perfect parent. It’s an unreal task. Concentrate on your baby’s achievements, don’t be shy to praise yourself for them, and always remember that every infant is a unique person with his/her individual traits, so only a pediatrician can determine whether your baby develops normally. Do you love your baby, care for him/her as much as you can, do everything in your power for the little one’s happiness? Then you’re a great parent. No one’s perfect.
5. First baby is the greatest change in your life
For the majority of people, having a firstborn is the biggest change in their life. You’ll get used to a new reality and won’t stress about it after some time, but at first, it seems like heaven fell on your head. New responsibilities, new schedule, new activities, new feelings – everything changes dramatically.
Can’t change reality? Then change your attitude
Start preparing yourself for future changes before your baby is born. And when your infant arrives, remember that you’ll get used to a new lifestyle in just a few months. Most parents say that they can’t imagine their life without their child and don’t even remember what it was like before this tiny human appeared. Changes will feel tough only for a short period of time, and the best advice is just to live through it. Besides, such significant changes in life are usually for the best.
Conclusion
There probably are no parents of a newborn who don’t feel stressed. Especially if that’s their first baby. Thus, if you’re anxious and distressed because of a new little member of your family, calm down, it’s normal to feel this. You’re having a life-changing experience, with its good and bad moments. The best advice in this situation would be to concentrate on good things and to find something positive even on the hardest days. Unfortunately, the mentioned 5 common causes of stress for new parents aren’t the only ones that exist, but a positive attitude can help you cope with any issues and difficulties of parenting. Having kids is definitely worth all the stress.
